A handful weekend

Last weekend my mum and I went back to Changkat Jering, Taiping. Well, not us alone, but with our other close ones as well..
Occasion : adik sepupu tersayang saya dirisik.
WeeeeeehHuuuuuuu!!!!!
So happy for her!
*joget lambak*

But that's not the point.
Nak tukar topic jauh dari subject sekejap.
Let's go to penerimaan.
Acceptance.
Katakanlah kamu orang sekeliling yang dirisik.. Apa perasaan kamu?
Macam Ayu, I rasa sangat happy, tumpang gembira. Ni good news. Another 'masjid' bakal dibina.. Another maksiat bakal dihapuskan.. (I'm not saying lah derang buat maksiat, maksudnya, perkahwinan itu kan bertujuan untuk mengelakkan maksiat)
Apa korang rasa?
I mean apa perasaan korang if korang dan subject adalah berkaitan?
(Aisseeyyy lupa lak saya dah off comment button. Hahahahhaahhhhh.. Korang reply dalam hati je lah yeee)
I have overcome a lot of other reactions disekeliling Ayu.
Reactions like merajuk, mengasingkan diri, menjauhkan diri, kecik hati, bermasam muka, feeling left out...
Owh come on! Yang korang bagi syaitan teraju perasaan korang tu kenapa????
Don't preach about being positive, staying positive and live positive if you're one of bloody negative person!
Eeeeiiiiii.. Tarik hidung tu karang!
Orang nak bina masjid, bukan ko nak support, for atleast doakan yang baik.. Ini ko boleh lak nak brag about it belakang2. Mengapakah? Jealous?
Especially kawan2 lah.
Kamu rapat dengan dia.. Hu ha hu ha bagai semua. Bila dia nak go on. Kamu menghilang? Yennnaaaddaaaa??????????
I'll be there for you, you be there for me too lah kan?
Bahahahahahaah.. Nampak macam entry emo kan?
Tak kena kat diri sendiri lagi ni. Kalau kena, entah cemana lah Ayu handle agaknya.. Hahahahaaa...
Ayu bengang ni bukan apa.. Ada a friend of mine, tiba2 text me cakap dia kecik hati dapat tau another friend of ours dah berpunya. What theeeee???
Ko kecik hati sebab orang tu ada partner???
Meh sini nak azan kat telinga tu sikit.
Eeiiii.. Ko berkenan kat lelaki itu kah? Atau ko berkenan kat yang perempuan (OMG! Nauzubillah)....
Tak baik lah begitu.
Tak fikir ke what goes around, come around.
Ok. Saya dah habis membebel. Apa pun..
Saya always excited bila ada sesiapa getting hitched!
Yay!

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Bangunan SUK, Shah Alam

Sabtu lepas (21st Apr 2013), mom dah awal-awal pesan and inform Ayu ada dua wedding yang kami kena attend. Wedding anak-anak kawan mengaji dia. No problem. Both aunties Ayu kenal. Baik sangat.
Penambahan fakta, ada dua lagi kawan mengaji mom yang ikut sama.
Me no problemo. Come come. The trusted supirah on duty. (Padahal lagi ramai, lagi supirahnya berani nak memandu..Cerrr suruh sengsorang.. mau tinggal kereta tepi jalan and pakat tahan cab)

So, the plan. Jemput mom's friend at 10:45am and zasss ke Dewan Perdana Felda, KL. Selesai sana around 1:30pm terus ke Dewan Jubli Perak, Bangunan SUK, Shah Alam. In between, or after kenduri Shah Alam, cari port solat Zohor.
Supirah setuju. Mak supirah setuju. Penumpang setuju. Ok cun.

Alhamdulillah, semuanya lancar tanpa sebarang traffic jam meruntun jiwa. Syukur.

Since sampai SUK awal, mom and her friends decided nak jengah kenduri dulu. Lagipun we all baru je sudah makan. Ni more on memenuhi jemputan dan minum la air sikit plus kuih muih mana yang ada. Jangan tidak. So, lepas usai jengah kenduri baru lah kami berbondong bersama mencari surau.

Keluar banquet hall tu, Ayu nampak sign tulis surau. Ok, good. Ayu inform mom and her friends and semua pun happy lah dapat jumpa surau. Senang. Nak jalan ke surau tu boleh tahan jugak jarak dia. But nevermind. No rush.

Masuk je area yang bertulis "Surau Wanita", mom dah tegur cakap.. "Kenapa malap? Tak de lampu ke Yu?"
Ayu cakap.."Tak pe mak, Ayu bukak pintu, biar cahaya masuk sementara mak semua masuk. So takde lah gelap sangat.."
I went it first. Tahan pintu dengan tangan kanan my mom menyusul terus ke tepi Ayu because I was trying to reach suis lampu and the moment the lights on kedebummmm bunyi!
Ibu saya jatuh. :(
At that moment, my heart stopped. Ayu lepas kan pintu. Sampai hari ni, Ayu tak tau and hope I didn't terhempas pintu tu at my mom's friend.

I rushed to her. Terus cuba dudukkan dia. Looked at her face tengok terhantuk mana. And now, check on her leg and lutut. Dah la mom memang ada masalah lutut. And since dia ada sakit lutut plus dia memang pesakit high blood, all of us sangat berhati-hati jaga dia. Jatuh mahupun 'nak terjatuh' is never an option for our mom. :(
Last mom jatuh masa kena ragut last two years. 

Then, I try to calm down and asked her as calm as possible.
"Mak sakit kat mana?" (I am actually trying to make conversation with her. Ayu nak observe cara dia reply all. Dalam hati hanya Allah je tahu betapa Ayu panic dan takut sangat apa-apa jadi to mom especially stroke. Nauzubillah)
Lega hati bila mom menjawab normal. Takde changes ekpresi muka mahupun suara. Sounds normal. Then, dia cakap.. "Lutut mak sakit..."
Slowly Ayu pangku dia and pegang lutut slowly. Terus ayat-ayat shifa' yang selalu Ayu amalkan dalam kitab Manzil berpusing-pusing dalam kepala. Dengan lafaz bismillah..Ayu pegang lutut yang mom cakap sakit tu sambil baca verses from kitab tu. Lepas tiga kali baca dan hembus, Alhamdulillah mom said, she wants to get up.

Ini puncanya.
Nampak split level tu?
Nampak carpet yang tiada langsung perbezaan tu?

Ini jer cahaya lampu yang ada dalam surau tu ye. Ini sahaja. Memang sengaja Ayu tak guna flash untuk ambil gambar ini.

1. Maintainance mana? Kenapa benda-benda kecil seperti tukar bulb lampu tidak dibuat segera.
2. Kelesaan surau. Jangankan aircond, kipas pun tiada di dalam surau ni. Stuffy tak payah cakap lah.
3. Buat lah sesuatu untuk orang tau ada split level disitu. Malang tidak berbau.

Alhamdulillah, nothing serius happened to my mom. But what if? Orang lain ke kena? Dan menjadi sebab dan punca pula surau ni?
Nak salahkan surau ker?
Kenapa boleh habiskan berpuluh ribu ringgit terhadap benda lain tetapi tidak kepada ruang ibadat?
Walaupun yang disewa untuk acara hanyalah dewan banquet itu sahaja, tetapi, tempat awam seperti tandas dan surau sepatutnya di pastikan berfungsi dengan baik.

I lost respect to bangunan gah mana sekali pun kalau surau dan tandas camples! (read: Chaaa-peh-less)

Ye, saya marah. Orang boleh kata saya emosi sebab yang kena tu ibu saya. Kalau anda? Tak marah?
Ok lah, benda nak jadi. Tapi perkara ini bila dikaji, sepatutnya memang boleh dielakkan dari terjadi.

A note to the Management of Bangunan SUK, Shah Alam, Selangor.
Tolong pastikan kebajikan surau anda terjaga. Pasang la sekurang-kurang kipas. Bilik kecil tu tak ada ventilation langsung. Dan buatlah garisan ke, apa-apa sahaja lah yang boleh membezakan split level tersebut. Jangankan orang berusia, orang muda seperti kamu pun boleh tergolek kat situ.
Dan ingat, risiko jatuh ni, bukan terletak pada orang berusia sahaja ye. Orang muda kalau jatuh sekarang ni pun, bermacam benda boleh terjadi.

And to all yang membaca, please be extra careful jika sesiapa ke sana. Tempat tu nampak old dah pun. Tapi tempat lama mana pun, kalau dijaga dan dimaintain InsyaAllah masih terpelihara. Tapi, maintainance disitu.. entahlah.


Love, Ayu

#justsharing

self motivation. :)


Source: Google image

Love, Ayu

Sharing : Blessed Friday

Sekadar renungan dan peringatan untuk diri sendiri as well....
Semoga saya dan semua saudara Hawa seIslam saya dijauhi dari sifat tersebut...
Let's change for the better...

Allah Maha Penyayang.. it is never to let untuk kita repair diri kita...
InsyaAllah...
Let's!

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my inner thoughts

dah tak larat rasanya mengadap doctors etc
alhamdulillah zikrullah ubat terbaik.

no need to explain further pun kot. malas bercerita pun ye.
malas menaip.. ha! faktor utama.

apa yang pasti, now ayu sangat tahu apa itu trauma. apa itu phobia.
nauzubillah.

tq Allah sebab menurunkan dugaan tersebut.
saya belajar banyak dan menerima hikmah yang berlipat ganda kerananya.. Alhamdulillah.

Syukur, Alhamdulillah.

Blurbings By,

Amiha Ayu

Salam Aidiladha...

*bunyi jari meletop*

keyboard ni kalau boleh bercakap agaknya dia buat muka terkejut siap naik bulu roma terperanjat tindakan tuan dia yang decided to err... update blog?

tuan dia sendiri sedang terperanjat.

but anyways, masih belum terlambat rasanya untuk Ayu ucapkan Salam Aidiladha untuk semua yang membaca. Semoga Aidiladha kali ni memberi seribu rahmat dan pengertian korban itu lebih didalami dengan lebih bermakna oleh kita semua, InsyaAllah.

Hari Raya Aidiladha kali ni, sangat Ayu dalami.

Pengertian pengorbanan itu sendiri memang sangat Ayu dalami berbanding tahun sebelum ini. Macam2 perkara yang Ayu tempuhi sejak dua menjak ini sangat mengajar erti pengorbanan dan pengamatan muhasabah diri sangat2.

Cuma sedikit ralat sebab tak berpeluang bercuti awal membantu sis & mom apa yang patut untuk juadah raya. Disebabkan saya tidak berkenderaan, LRT sedikit lewat dan tidak berpeluang bercuti sebab saya sendiri baru sahaja pulang ke kerja dari cuti sakit.

Seperti routine selalu, kami bangun awal untuk memanaskan apa yang patut. Dan terus mandi sunat raya, dan terus bersiap untuk ke masjid berhampiran untuk solat sunat raya.

But!
Sebelum kami bergegas bersiap untuk solat raya, mom received a phone call.

My cousin sister & her family terlibat dalam kemalangan jalan raya malam sebelumnya and now dirawat di Hospital Sg Buloh. But only the girls kat situ... yang boys ada dekat Hospital Kuala Kubu Baru.

Our heart broken.
Raya is far off from the the word joy.
Our mind, heart and attention are all for my cousin and her family.
Plus, it is her birthday that day. The whole family planned to celebrate raya at her place and sekali gus gath for her birthday.

Called all available.
Few notes informed:
1. My cousin's husband and 2nd son were at Hosp Kuala Kubu Baru
2. All girls ( my cousin, and her two daughters) were sent to Hosp Sg Buloh due to their serius injuries. Especially the youngest.
3. They were driving naik bukit malam raya tu nak ke kedai membeli few barang.
4. Kereta dari arah bertentangan menuruni bukit masuk their lane and hit them hard. Kemungkinan besar mabuk.

How bad? How are they?
NO CLUE AT ALL.

Usai solat, we all rushed to Hosp Sg Buloh.
Membabi buta sungguh. Sampai sana baru teringat ada waktu melawat. 12:30 - 2:30 pm and 4:30 - 7:30 pm..
Waktu kami sampai tu what time?
10:30am. Nice.

Macam mana lah keadaan my cousin. Handling two kids and dia sendiri entah luka macam mana siapa tengokkan.

Setelah dipujuk rayu, kami semua lepas dibenarkan masuk. Sebab ini kes emergency.

Speechless.
Ayu nak cerita pun tak tau macam mana.

Kecederaan:
1. My cousin's husband, fractured tulang kaki kanan dan tulang bahu. lebam keseluruhan badan dan berjahit di lengan kiri.
2. My nephew cedera ringan dia bahagian kepala dan bahagian mulut akibat terhentak. Sedikit bengkak and bibir luka.
3. My cousin, bengkak muka dia keseluruhan muka kiri. Patah gigi hadapan. Bruises dan luka di kiri kanan kaki.
3. My elder niece, fractured tulang pipi kanan. Keseluruhan muka membengkak termasuk mata kanan sehingga tertutup. Lebam dan luka kecil di bahagian kanan badan.\
4. My youngest niece, luka teruk di bahagian belakang kepala, dahi kiri hadapan, muka bengkak mungkin also fractured tulang pipi kiri sehingga mata kiri tertutup dan bengkak dan patah tulang peha kanan. Kehilangan banyak darah sehingga terpaksa dimasukkan 1 pain darah. :(

*luluh hati*

I can't continue typing anymore.

Mohon doa kalian untuk segera keluarga sepupu saya sembuh dan move on from this trauma.
Amin. TQ.

Blurbings By,

All gone?

Oh my!

I can't believe this. ESOK DAH KERJA?????

my oh my....

Can I have a little more days off please????????


*wishful thinking*

So guys, how's your raya?

Blurbings By,

Aduhai penyewa...

Mom got a land at Puchong and she build dalam empat pintu rumah sewa.

Jangan nak menganga mulut tu sangat, rumah kecik je. Ala rumah murah tu. Satu pintu ada dua bilik and satu bilik air.

Mom decided to build rumah sewa ni pun dengan tujuan sekali harung supaya tanah ni tak terbiar macam tu sahaja...plus dapat la pocket money sikit for her monthly.

My mom kan dulu bekerja... dia dah biasa bekerja... now dah rileks lepak ni... dia jadi boring.. 

But lately due to health umur etcs...

Anak2 kenalah take over tolong sesama pergi round buat spot check... round mengutip sewa all.

But 2012 has been really menyakitkan hati for all of us.

Especially mom lah.

Orang2 yang menyewa tahun ni ramai orang bujang. duduk satu rumah maximum we all bagi empat orang sahaja... but bila datang spot check satu rumah sampai enam motor. Need I say more?

Earlier, kami hanya amik orang berkeluarga sahaja yang duduk menyewa, but tu lah as their family expanding, of course lah semua pun nak cari rumah lain.

Masa family duduk kurang la masalah nya.... 

Tempat terjaga, sewa tak parah.

Yelah, siapa nak kawasan tak elok etc untuk anak bini duduk kan?

But bila we have to take these bujangans all...

masyaallah sangat menduga iman dan kesabaran.

Kita ada sign agreement. Penyerahan kunci, deposit etcs.

Sewa rumah kena bank in or hand over to us paling lambat 7hb the following month. Hujung bulan is very much appreciated tq.

Bulan pertama:

"Mak Cik sewa kitaorang tak masukkan lagi sebab toilet ada masalah. Kita tolak dari sewa lah untuk repair ye.."

Pointnya disini... keadaan rumah dalam keadaan baik sebelum derang masuk. Semuanya dah dicheck everytime ada orang keluar.

So, I told them... kalau betul you all takde duit, kita share half2 sebab bukan kami yang guna sampai rosak.

end of month one.

Bulan kedua:

"Mak cik saya balik kampung ada hal. Nanti saya balik KL saya serahkan sewa. Lambat sikit la tapi..."

I told him, what about budak2 lain.? Bank in their portion first and your portion bank in lepas you come back from kampung.

Call tak berangkat. Sms tak berreply.

Called the other boys... "Kami semua dah kumpul serah kat xxxx"...

Nice.

Sewa di bank in hujung bulan yang suppose paid for 3rd month.

End of month two.

Bulan ketiga:

Rumah kosong.

Derang lari.

And left us with this.

Tell me.
How am I suppose to kesian or not angry?
Dah la tinggal rumah tak berkunci.
Siap dinding berconteng.

How?
How?
Now, to repair all.
No way ada yang nak menyewa like this.

Pfftttt...

Blurbings By,

Dapat e-mail bebelan instead...

I know...
sure pelik and tak kurang jugak sengal by writing here again...

I couldn't reply all email yang panjang lebar tak bagi tukar url.
Tak la ramai mana. But enough untuk ayu renung semua kata2 yang ada kat situ.

So meantime, I will publish all draft kat sini still.
Sesambil menunggu hidayah untuk langkah seterusnya.

Boleh eh?
Aci eh?

Itu pun mau tanya kah?
*lempang diri sendiri*


Note: Even though ada yang kata blog ku ini kusam... tak mendatangkan hasil... but this is my blog. not yours. THIS IS MY STORY. NOT YOURS.

Blurbings By,

WW - Work Overload

Blurbings By,

The What-Ifs ....

Life is indeed simple actually.
It's either Yes or No.
Black or White.
True or False.
Right or Left.
Front or Back.

We only have to choices in life.

It's the fact.

But what makes it complicates when we started analyzing things.

What if we choose No instead of Yes.
What if I turn left instead of right.

and drama begins.
dilemma drives in.
and a lot of emotional weight-age peeked in.

T.Y.P.I.C.A.L

Why?
Because we human have feelings.

When we choose Yes for an answer...
What will other people think? Our families? Our friends? Our community.
It is just a YES.
Just a 3 letter word. But the after effect might be not-just-a-3-letter-word effect.

As a believer, we also needs to take into consideration that things happen for a reason.
We are chosen to make such choice because of a reason.

Blurbings By,

11,680 days....

Syukur to Allah I'm still here, breathing and having the opportunity to see my love ones every day.

alhamdulillah....

Thank you Allah for the wonderful 11,680 days of live! Syukur.....

(",)

for being the Ayu that's always full of...
drama...
sensitivity...
busyness...
tantrum...
silent tak bertempat...
complicated...
hard to communicate...
selfish...
defensive...

I am so blessed still with...
a mother with an endless love and support
a sister whom i respect and look up to always
a brother in law that i treated like a brother that's always there taking care of the family
a nephew that boost my engine every single day... (i'm always motivated by him)
a niece that cares loves and hugs me with full divine love
family members all over that cares
BFFs that are more like sisters that's knows me well in and out
friends that are not judgemental
and someone that accepted me just the way i am with full respect and makes me realize more about life.

syukur Allah...

I pray for a better year ahead...
InsyaAllah... a big moment and movement going to happen to my life soon.. InsyaAllah...

Happy 32nd Birthday Siti Amiha Ayu.

hey, that's me!
;)

Blurbings By,

Something for laugh.. Something to share...

found this on the internet.. ;)

so true! 

mana tak true.. kena kat batang hidung sendiri... hehe....

Blurbings By,

Dah puasa 6 belum?

Cak!
Niat nak blogging membuak2... tetapi hati nak tidur mengatasi segalanya...

so blog saya ditunda lagiiiiiiiiiii...

(mampu auto schedule ni je)

:P


Blurbings By,

Ramadhan 1432H : Day 9 & Day 10

tuhan je yang tahu betapa duka laranya hati Ayu on the 9th and 10th Ramadhan ni..
huhuhuhu

tapi sendiri cari penyakit kan? padan lah mukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. :P
semua benda buat serba tak kena.

ni perihal yang since Sunday tu lah.
drag sampai Isnin.. tak settle sebab banyak benda lain.
bawak ke Selasa. Ingatkan Selasa pagi boleh settle..
bertambah lagi luka lara nya..........................................

simpan Ayu simpan.
kerja mengaup jelah kepedihan hati.
huhuhuhu...

sampai lah Selasa dekat2 nak berbuka baru relief.
Ungkai yang Sunday.. assume je lah settle sekali harung yang Tuesday.

Baru nak tenang on Wednesday...
dah add on lain laakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

but above all.. i'm ok.
cuma as human, i cant help but to feel worried, disturbed.
Its human nature.

bukan beerti i want everything to be my way and to be in my control.
Astaghfirullah, definitely no.
Cuma saya mahukan kepastian, ketulusan.
And bila saya suarakan pendapat saya... be as open as possible.

Pengajaran nya buat semua yang confuse membaca....

1. Communication itu sangat penting.
2. Pastikan maksud yang disampaikan oleh penyampai sampai kepada si penerima.
3. Lumrah manusia, akan mengambil masa untuk adapt and menerima sesuatu perkara.
4. Jangan simpan dalam hati. NEVER.
5. Kompromi biar bertempat. Jangan mula untuk "it's ok" and lama2 jadi "not ok".
6. Have faith. STRONG faith.
7. walaupun orang kata, ikut hati mati..ikut rasa binasa.. but certain time, dengarlah kata hati.


Blurbings By,

Eh Eh...

I'm here in front of my netbook... wanting to write an entry or two while waiting...
Feeling all hype and excited.

But, kita hanya mampu merancang...
Plan aborted.

So, mood nak type entry pun hilang...
Nak bukak tudung, nak salin baju and nak tido.
:)

Doakan mood itu kembali esok ye...
Salam Ramadhan Fasa ke-2... :)



Blurbings By,

When keeping quiet....

If you ask, do I prefer to talk or keep quiet?

Believe it or not, I'll choose to keep quiet.

People portray me as someone who loves talking and I can chit chat with people all day long.

Even it is just a chat.. there are still protocols and ethics in talking.

Because, it involves human.

Human has emotion, heart and feelings.

If we want others to treat us right, we should be treating others right too, no?

of course.

I respect elderlies so much.

I love listening to them. Hearing all the experiences in life. Priceless.

But, even I am younger, that doesn't mean I am allowed to be called or talked to as if you're talking to your maid, right?

And, if I were to raise this for explanation, I am very sure, the statement will be, I am being too sensitive.

And the nags begins. All over again.

Me being sensitive.

Me being emotion.

Me being rude.

Me being over the board.

Ya Allah, why you choose me to become like this?

I've tried for so long to be what others wants me to be..

I've tried for so long to fit myself in others life.

I've tried for all my life to always understand others.

But why...

no one seems to understand me?

What shall I do.

Keep quiet and continue praying.

Praying for the best.

Praying that I will change so that I will be liked by everyone.

Blurbings By,

Arguments & me...

al sakit al kepala datang menyerang pulak...

rasanya satu ni jelah nampaknya entry esok kot...

baru lah nak keep up to the pace... isk..

anyways, this entry dah memang ada dalam draft actually...

berapa abad dah entah. ngeh.. but of course, kita kasi brush up sikit sana sini.. nasi2 tambah sikit.. ha.. siap lah satu entry.

and yes, its a membebel entry.. no pictures. :P

sejujurnya, kalau ditanya to each of you, definitely no one suka with arguments kan?

because..

1. ego tercabar bila pendapat kita tak sehaluan dengan the other party.

2. kita nak menang. ngeh ngeh.

3. kita rasa other party tu punya pendapat poyo sangat.. and tak kena dengan tekak kita.

4. kita rasa kita punya idea lagi bombastic meletop lagi bagus.

and ayu personally, tak suka arguments sebab bising. hahahaha...

and the after effect like bermasam muka... memerli2 each other and ungkit2 light2..

ha.. itu yang ayu tak suka.

but i don't mind discussions.

memang betul, arguments tu pun actually bermula dari discussion.. but i think masyarakat kita kena learn to listen as well.

because, all that i see, bila kita discuss, kita dah set kat kepala jawapan yang kita nak.. jadinya, when we open the topic for discussion, and others started to give their opinion, kita pun sama2 sibuk nak nak bagi opinion kita siap ada add on dengan peninggian suara and also kekerasan fakta.

if the more the merrier and more heads are better than one.. kenapa kita bantai set jawapan dah siap2.. no point discussing then.

betul tak?

might as well, we announce the decision rather than asking opinions.

to those that knows me.. definitely tau.. i'm always the natural party.

if i can elakkan argument, i will. even at that point, the whole thing was against my own opinion. (unless i'm the subject matter lah).

but before ayu main setuju tu, i always ask the reason and justification. masuk dek akal.. ok jalan.. kalau macam tersasar jauh.. i would explain the reason behind. nak terima, amik.. tak nak terima.. terpulang.

paling saya selalu orang tak puas hati dengan saya.. kalau argument tu, melibatkan ayu.. i will always.. just diam and said.. "apa2 lah.. ayu ikut je"

hahahaaa..

lepas tu, lagi orang marah....

hehehe...

tak best la gaduh2...

best ke??

tapi sekali sekala gaduh boleh laa... kan?

biasa lah.. i love world peace.. apa boleh buat..

(feeling miss universe for 2 seconds... NOT!)

Blurbings By,

Luahan hati...

after so many entries, i always make sure that i won't meroyan or spill my heartache or my disappointment too much here , in this blog.

reason being, i don't want too many negative impact to be influenced and i am also teaching myself to control and handle all those emotional factors rationally.

but somehow, along the way, i am not myself in writing here anymore.

every single line, i tend to think what will my family feel if i write this.. what will my friends think if i write this... and thousands more what wills...

and semuanya what will OTHERS feel...

what about me then??

dalam pada i dok think of others, i realise that at the end, people still make assumptions.

and, to my surprise, certain people tend to believe and take 100% facts from this blog and jump into conclusion about me.

it is ok if you're just my reader. but you're someone that are close to me.

why facts from the blog if you can deal directly with me?

what makes me so frust and hurt, to me, you've known me forever and understands me well. why do things behind the scene??

astghfirullah...

you're very important in my life... i adore you... i respect you and i love you. but when you did this... i am indeed down with frustrations and anger.

after having a deep thought, i admit, maybe you meant good.

but this is definitely not the way. this is not a surprise birthday party kindda thing that all of you can discussed secretly behind me. NO.

this is my pride that you have put at risk....

pride.. the only thing that i have in this world.

don't you at least pity me for that???

what happen to qada' & qadar?

what happen to ketentuan dariNYA??

don't you believe in that anymore???

what have i done wrong??

living my life my own way... and being happy treasuring moments is a mistake is it???

all i ask is for all of you to pray the best for me...

its Allah's job.

please please... if you don't want to give that respect to me.. at least have some sympathy to me. that's all i ask.

Blurbings By,

Sempadan

meh come.. cuba korang scroll ke bawah sikit..

haaa.....

lepas dah scroll... korang boleh agak tak apakah itu??

(no no ni bukan contest)

boleh?

tau tak???

sure tak tau punya kan????

masa mula2 ayu nampak line merah ni, ayu pun puzzled.

eh! budak2 kat area rumah ni layan main badminton again ker? bukan Thomas Cup dah langsai? biasa la kan.. kejiranan saya ni, bersukan bermusim...

kang Thomas Cup habis semua pegang racket.. kang World Cup, semua siap berjersi jeee.. pergi mengaji pun pakai jersi.. cheh!

;)

tengah ayu dok pelik2 tu... datang la makcik one of my jiran tu..

dia cerita la siapa yang spray line tu semua..etc etc...

terkejut sungguh ayu ok!

kisahnya, ada la pakcik kat kejiranan ni. dia ni memang dah lama sakit. jadi memang mood dia memang agak twister lah.

kami yang sekawasan ni memang no issue dengan dia. yelah, kena lah faham keadaan dia. orang tua pun. alah benda kecik la beralah ni..apa ada hal.

kisahnya, ada la yang pakcik berkenaan tak puas hati or terkecil hati dengan orang yang seberang satu lagi tu. dia spraynya jalan tu buat sempadan nak asingkan kawasan dia dengan kawasan orang tu. padahal rumah orang tu, bukan sebelah rumah dia pun...

ayu tergelak pulak.

paling kesian dengan isteri & anak2 pakcik tu lah.. rasa bersalah teramat.. kesian derang. even kami semua dah ensure yang kami tak berkecil hati langsung and sangat memahami keadaan pakcik tu.. still...

Blurbings By,