i see things... i experienced things... i am a normal human being... i need space... i have hopes... i hated things... i treasure moments...
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
my inner thoughts
alhamdulillah zikrullah ubat terbaik.
no need to explain further pun kot. malas bercerita pun ye.
malas menaip.. ha! faktor utama.
apa yang pasti, now ayu sangat tahu apa itu trauma. apa itu phobia.
nauzubillah.
tq Allah sebab menurunkan dugaan tersebut.
saya belajar banyak dan menerima hikmah yang berlipat ganda kerananya.. Alhamdulillah.
Syukur, Alhamdulillah.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Boleh kita berjumpa?
Assalamualaikum...
To the person yang meninggalkan komen semalam...
Pls email me at siti.amiha.ayu@gmail.com for an appointment...
Saya bukan manusia yg suka berselindung atau jenis baling batu sorok tangan.
Come... saya cabar awak bertentang mata dengan saya.
Tq.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Re: [vpmcentral] Gaza Emergency Fund Appeal
A note from someone.
Keep on praying people....
Assalamualaykum
Please find attached photos we have just received and to show you some of those whom you have helped in Gaza.
May Allah reward you in abundance for your sincere generosity.
Monday, November 19, 2012
my day.. for 2012
Ayu ishtihar cuti satu Malaysia! Suka tak?????
hahahahahaaaa.....
So my birthday this year falls on Deepavali... my close ones been teasing me with saree, thosai and such since June! Yup... so sweet of them kan? *muntah*
So, a day earlier on the eve, budak2 office ada tanya around if nak order creampuff ke.. eclairs ker... durian crepe ker at our regular kakak...
Melompat la semua nak.. Ayu amik peluang layan manisan sempena my birthday....
Makan kat office sikit, bagi orang sikit and bawak balik sikit...Alhamdulillah..
2012 indeed a total different year for me.
Changes sangat banyak.
Usia mematangkan... Insyaallah...
Alhamdulillah.. tq Allah kerana masih meminjamkan nyawa di kelahiran yang ke 33 tahun ini....
Syukur......
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Israeli Invasion of Gaza - Press Release from Viva Palestina Malaysia (VPM)
15 November 2012
The serial military incursions of Israel on the autonomous Gaza Strip over the recent few weeks have now escalated into a virtual invasion with incessant bombings from both the air and sea. The present large scale bombardment of Gaza over the past 24 hours is very reminiscent of the genocidal massacre committed by the Israeli military in Operation Cast Lead in December 2008.
The present carnage known as Operation Pillar of Defense is yet another display of Israel’s contempt for International Law and its ruthless defiance of accepted norms of co-existence both in times of peace and war. It has been unrelenting in its militaristic occupation mode, expanding its illegitimate settlements in the West bank, blockade of the Gaza Strip and now embarking on mass killings of innocent civilians and wanton destruction of property in Operation Pillar of Defense.
Independent eye witness accounts and broadcasts from within Gaza has authenticated the fatalities, severe bodily injuries inflicted on ordinary Gazans and the damages to civilian properties. Thus dispelling the many news distortions from partisan Zionist media houses.
The United Nations, European Union and other world power brokers need to act fast and rein in the heinous acts of Israel or will soon become abject Zionist stooges like some, allowing it with impunity to do as it pleases in the Middle East and beyond.
The spirit of the “Arab Spring” of 2011 which swept across the Middle East, overthrowing regimes complicit with Israel’s policies and supported by some super powers, should be universally unified and enhanced to demonstrate their support for Palestinian rights. And like “New Egypt” recall their ambassadors and initiate the expulsion of Israeli diplomats from their respective countries.
The defence of Gaza and ultimately the end of the occupation in Palestine is duty bound upon all peace loving and free people of the world and VPM calls upon nations, institutions and individuals to actively participate in this humanitarian duty. Nelson Mandela sums it well when he said, “Palestine is the worst moral crisis of our times”. Thus making it a humanitarian crisis; a colossal failure of our collective humanity.
VPM in solidarity with civil society throughout the peaceful world denounces in no uncertain terms the Israeli aggression in Gaza. VPM calls for an immediate cessation of the air strikes and bombardment and an end to the siege of Gaza.
We emphatise with the misfortune that has befallen the ordinary people of Gaza, the loss of human lives, property and their basic human right to peace, freedom and justice. We nonetheless salute the brave Palestinians who have not wavered in their resolve to acquire what is rightfully theirs since the annexation of their lands in 1948.
Dato’ Dr Musa Mohd Nordin
Chairman
Viva Palestina Malaysia (VPM)
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
The lucky 33
Thank you very much.
Having people like my BIL and MSN are not funny at all if you birthday falls on Deepavali ok. Super not funny.
I have been bombarded about this for more than week before my birthday. Haih.
Apa boleh buat. Nasib badan......
A day before, Ayu tempah one box of pastries and a pack of durian crepe from my colleague.
Yes. Sejak dah sekolah they will order and tulis order sendiri.
Mamanya jadi tukang perhati and tukang bayar sahaja.
Hehe. Papanya too.
After we had our breakfast..semua berehat sekejap and tunggu Zohor. Selepas solat, off we go to Uncle S 's place.
The fun.
Seronok sungguh berkumpul semula with mom's friends. Meriah. Sama macam zaman mom bekerja dulu. Cumanya now, I am so much older. Dulu forever menghilang with all of them. Macam sebuah big family.
Masa ni, my family asked me nak makan apa for dinner.
I said I want Japanese.
and percayalah, semua buat muka hambar kecuali my sis. haha.
My BIL and MSN said, not a problem provided fed them with nasi first.
Sabar jelah. What a negotiation. Hehe.
Kesayangan saya dunia akhirat.....
Monday, October 29, 2012
Salam Aidiladha...
Seperti routine selalu, kami bangun awal untuk memanaskan apa yang patut. Dan terus mandi sunat raya, dan terus bersiap untuk ke masjid berhampiran untuk solat sunat raya.
But!
Sebelum kami bergegas bersiap untuk solat raya, mom received a phone call.
My cousin sister & her family terlibat dalam kemalangan jalan raya malam sebelumnya and now dirawat di Hospital Sg Buloh. But only the girls kat situ... yang boys ada dekat Hospital Kuala Kubu Baru.
Our heart broken.
Raya is far off from the the word joy.
Our mind, heart and attention are all for my cousin and her family.
Plus, it is her birthday that day. The whole family planned to celebrate raya at her place and sekali gus gath for her birthday.
Called all available.
Few notes informed:
1. My cousin's husband and 2nd son were at Hosp Kuala Kubu Baru
2. All girls ( my cousin, and her two daughters) were sent to Hosp Sg Buloh due to their serius injuries. Especially the youngest.
3. They were driving naik bukit malam raya tu nak ke kedai membeli few barang.
4. Kereta dari arah bertentangan menuruni bukit masuk their lane and hit them hard. Kemungkinan besar mabuk.
How bad? How are they?
NO CLUE AT ALL.
Usai solat, we all rushed to Hosp Sg Buloh.
Membabi buta sungguh. Sampai sana baru teringat ada waktu melawat. 12:30 - 2:30 pm and 4:30 - 7:30 pm..
Waktu kami sampai tu what time?
10:30am. Nice.
Macam mana lah keadaan my cousin. Handling two kids and dia sendiri entah luka macam mana siapa tengokkan.
Setelah dipujuk rayu, kami semua lepas dibenarkan masuk. Sebab ini kes emergency.
Speechless.
Ayu nak cerita pun tak tau macam mana.
Kecederaan:
1. My cousin's husband, fractured tulang kaki kanan dan tulang bahu. lebam keseluruhan badan dan berjahit di lengan kiri.
2. My nephew cedera ringan dia bahagian kepala dan bahagian mulut akibat terhentak. Sedikit bengkak and bibir luka.
3. My cousin, bengkak muka dia keseluruhan muka kiri. Patah gigi hadapan. Bruises dan luka di kiri kanan kaki.
3. My elder niece, fractured tulang pipi kanan. Keseluruhan muka membengkak termasuk mata kanan sehingga tertutup. Lebam dan luka kecil di bahagian kanan badan.\
4. My youngest niece, luka teruk di bahagian belakang kepala, dahi kiri hadapan, muka bengkak mungkin also fractured tulang pipi kiri sehingga mata kiri tertutup dan bengkak dan patah tulang peha kanan. Kehilangan banyak darah sehingga terpaksa dimasukkan 1 pain darah. :(
*luluh hati*
I can't continue typing anymore.
Mohon doa kalian untuk segera keluarga sepupu saya sembuh dan move on from this trauma.
Amin. TQ.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
In denial....
Setengah bulan.
Lama ke?
Untuk certain cases mungkin lama.
But untuk benda yang terjadi to me, as tuan empunya diri.
It is sesuatu yang seakan baru sahaja terjadi.
Ternampak saya di mana2.. Laughing, chatting, smiling... Doesn't mean that I am ok.
I am just tyring to move on.
Musibah yang terjadi pada saya mungkin dianggap biasa atau normal untuk sesetengah pihak.
Sebagai manusia biasa, saya tak punya tempoh untuk bertenang pun. Ataupun membaik pulih diri.
(Selain waktu solat lima waktu)
Disamun malamnya, tak lelap langsung sepanjang malam itu dan keesokannya terus kesana kemari menyelesaikan isu siasatan, kad pengenalan dan sebagainya....
Menjelang Maghrib, badan terasa sakit, pedih... Tak sedap. Bergegas ke clinic dan ubat sekodi.
Pain killers... Sleeping pills....
Dek kerana saya ada majlis yang perlu diteruskan dan persiapan terbengkalai dek musibah yang melanda...
Diri digagahkan juga menyelesaikan semua dan apa yang patut.
Bersyukur ada insan2 disekeliling yang sanggup membantu.
Allah je yang dapat menolong.
Dan sejak detik itu....soalan "are u ok?" "U looked good...all ok?" Dan seumpamanya menghujani saya.
Seriusly... Terima kasih sekalung budi atas concern tersebut.
Maafkan saya kerana tak tahu nak jawab atau react bagaimana.
Dan keadaan diri yang dilabel emo (memang betul lah tu) menambah perasaan sensitive yang ada. Nice.
So anyways, I managed to pull it off to everyone that I AM OKAY.
On the outside.
Inside.
Cemana nak explain eh?
Sesiapa yang pernah melalui trauma sure tau lah.
No point explaining.
Alhamdulillah berkat menelan double dosages of pain killers, majlis berjalan lancar. Syukur....
Ada hiccups of course, no one is perfect.
Jadi, from the bottom of my heart, saya mohon maaf bagi pihak diri saya dan juga keluarga saya untuk sebarang kekurangan yang terjadi.
Yang baik itu datang dari Allah SWT dan yang buruk itu dari kami sendiri.
Usai majlis, mengemas rumah. Dan bermacam detailing yang lain. Esoknya cuti digunakan sehabis baik untuk meneruskan mengemas dan sebagainya.
Keesokan harinya.. Bermulalah episode baru saya bekerja.
Felt like a different person.
Sangat strange.
Istighfar. Selawat. Zikrullah.
Dan sehingga hari ini....
Saya masih indenial.
Saya rasa saya kuat.
Saya rasa saya dah overcome the trauma.
Hakikatnya, saya lemah dan masih traumatised.
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