Luahan hati...

after so many entries, i always make sure that i won't meroyan or spill my heartache or my disappointment too much here , in this blog.

reason being, i don't want too many negative impact to be influenced and i am also teaching myself to control and handle all those emotional factors rationally.

but somehow, along the way, i am not myself in writing here anymore.

every single line, i tend to think what will my family feel if i write this.. what will my friends think if i write this... and thousands more what wills...

and semuanya what will OTHERS feel...

what about me then??

dalam pada i dok think of others, i realise that at the end, people still make assumptions.

and, to my surprise, certain people tend to believe and take 100% facts from this blog and jump into conclusion about me.

it is ok if you're just my reader. but you're someone that are close to me.

why facts from the blog if you can deal directly with me?

what makes me so frust and hurt, to me, you've known me forever and understands me well. why do things behind the scene??

astghfirullah...

you're very important in my life... i adore you... i respect you and i love you. but when you did this... i am indeed down with frustrations and anger.

after having a deep thought, i admit, maybe you meant good.

but this is definitely not the way. this is not a surprise birthday party kindda thing that all of you can discussed secretly behind me. NO.

this is my pride that you have put at risk....

pride.. the only thing that i have in this world.

don't you at least pity me for that???

what happen to qada' & qadar?

what happen to ketentuan dariNYA??

don't you believe in that anymore???

what have i done wrong??

living my life my own way... and being happy treasuring moments is a mistake is it???

all i ask is for all of you to pray the best for me...

its Allah's job.

please please... if you don't want to give that respect to me.. at least have some sympathy to me. that's all i ask.

Blurbings By,